Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
