fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
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