Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
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