I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
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