not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
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It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
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On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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