just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I just want nice things and good sex
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
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