DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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