You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
