More tranny stories later!
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
