I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
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