I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
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