It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
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