well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Can I color on your dick again?
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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