No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
