I'm so fucking centered right now
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
