There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize
