everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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