i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
