Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Why did my mother make you get naked?
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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