I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
