They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
