Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
