Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
