He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
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