Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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