My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
