im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
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