Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
