I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Randomize