3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Randomize
