I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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