Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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