no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
