you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Randomize
