so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
