4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
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