I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
