i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
