I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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