he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
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