Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Randomize
