Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Randomize
