So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
