Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
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i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
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I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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