Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
