Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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