Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Randomize