Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Randomize
