doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
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