i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Randomize
