Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come back. Shots need mouths.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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