Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this will be a night to untag.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize