also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Randomize