Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
whose parrot is this?
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Randomize
