Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
