Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
