What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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