Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Randomize
