dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
