he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
