She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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