that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
is that a dick in a sweater?
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
