it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
never play flip cup with pint glasses
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize